God Created

God Created the Heavens and the Earth

and populated the Earth with broccoli and

cauliflower, spinach, and green, yellow,

and red vegetables of all kinds,

so Man and Woman would live long

and healthy lives.

Then, using God's great gifts, Satan created

Haagen Dazs and Krispy Kreme Donuts.

And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

and Man said, "Yea," and Woman said,

"and another one with sprinkles."

And they gained 10-20 pounds.

And God created the healthy yogurt that woman

might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour

from the wheat, and sugar from the cane,

and combined them.

And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing

and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts

following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy

vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth deep fried fish

and chicken fried steak so big it needed

its own platter.

And Man gained more weight

and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then brought forth running shoes

so that his children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control

so Man would not have to get up

to change the channels.

And Man and Woman laughed and cried

before the flickering light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato,

naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin,

sliced the starchy center into chips

and deep-fried them.

And man gained pounds.

God then gave soybeans so that man

might consume fewer calories and still

satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created the 99-cent cheeseburger.

Then he said, "You want fries with that?"

And Man replied, "Yeah! And super size 'em."

And Satan said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created

quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMO's.

~ Author ~

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